A letter to Heaven

On the 28th March, I was surprised by the sudden loss of a beautiful friend, Amy. Amy suffered from a heart attack at an age far too young for life to finish. There were no warnings, no signs, no time to say goodbye. I’m still not quite sure I have fully accepted that I’ll never see her again, but every day I will continue to remember her as a fun, loving young lady.

Funeral’s are hard but everyone told me this one would be the worst yet. I have lost grandparents which I’ve been so close too but in a sad, awful way, when somebody is 80 years old, you kind of expect there to be a funeral soon. Whilst it doesn’t make things any better, you know they’ve lived there life and achieved everything they wanted to. But Amy hadn’t. Amy hadn’t been engaged, or had children, or been to Santorini like she’d wanted to. She hadn’t had the chance to find a career she loved or start a beauty blog which she aspired too. Instead of a room full of elderly friends, there were crowds of youngsters, groups from school, her boyfriend who planned to propose later that year. I found it hard that no one else around me understood the connection we had – none of my friends or family really knew Amy the way I did, it was just me and her. I can’t reminisce in the times we had or the funny topics we discussed, I will just replay those moments over and over in my head.

Thank you for the Harvester dinner dates, supportive chats and endless love & support. Thank you for continuing to be my friend, sticking by my side & listening to my bitching. Whilst we had completely separate lives and friendship groups, we had common enemies and foe’s which we could bitch and laugh about. I loved helping with your college course by treating myself to some free beauty treatments. You were talented and had so much potential. I know you had it tough a few years back, I remember discussing the break up of your last love and shitty friends, but I am so happy that you found love again in a wonderful, caring boy who admired you so dearly. I wish you had everything you dreamed of but in every precious moment I will remember you.

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Losing somebody so beautiful and so young changed my outlook on life. You don’t realise how short life is and how precious every moment is until something so tragic happens and puts everything into perspective for you. Sometimes I hate myself for worrying about an extra few pounds in weight or wondering if I can afford a new pair of shoes when I am lucky enough to have a happy life with a fabulous family, boyfriend and best friends. I will, and encourage everybody to, live in the moment and enjoy life. Spend time with those who love and care for you and stop wasting time with people who make no effort. Take risks, go on adventures, and don’t hold grudges. Be happy.

Amy, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

XO Lottie

 

  • Gem Wilson

    Oh my gosh, this has sent goosebumps all over me, this is so terrible and I am truly sorry for your loss.
    It is such a shame that something drastic like this has to happen to shake us into realisation that life is to be lived and we only have a set amount of time to do it. It is a cruel, cruel world that we live in full of situations that are just not fair.
    Sending you lots of love and hugs x x

  • Zoe Marie

    Babe, i had tears in my eyes reading this. Im so sorry for your loss, but what beautiful memories you have of your lovely friend. Sending love and hugs xxx